#Love: Reasons Your Lover Is Cheating On You

A sad reality that many must face in relationships is that we can’t control what our mates do. Even though you might do your best to fulfill their needs, ultimately it’s up to them to be faithful or not. But is fidelity is simple as it seems? Is it merely just a choice, or are some people more prone to infidelity? Is there a science behind it?

Well, thanks to the study of many scientists, psychologists, and sociologists, here are 14 studies that have dissected fidelity and the myths that come with it. Remember that all these things are theories, and it’s not indicative of every person that you date/marry. But, the more you know…

1. I didn’t see it like that: With the constant knowledge of things that are bad for us, do you ever wonder why some people still smoke, obsessively drink, or binge, knowing what the consequences are? People are able to do these things due to something called ‘cognitive dissonance.’ This is the act of separating the wrong that you do, and either trivializing it, or justifying it so it doesn’t seem as bad. This behavior is very prominent in cheaters.

An experiment was published in January 2013 that proved that when people were made to feel bad about their past cheating, they saw it as a bad thing. But if their behavior was rationalized, they were able to separate themselves from their own bad behavior, leading them with thoughts like: cheating is bad, but I’m not, because I’m a good person… even though I cheated.

 2. They have an addiction: Within the last decade, people have been using the fact that they have a sex addiction to justify their infidelity. While some have been skeptical, it actually is an issue for some. Some people who have sex addictions allow themselves to do very unhealthy things to themselves and their relationships, and there are recovery facilities for those who suffer.

3. People find them desirable (depending on gender):An experiment was recently conducted by recovery.org entitled ‘To catch a cheater.’ They set up a number of fake profiles on dating sites and created them with a certain level of fidelity. Through that, they saw that the profiles of women interested in cheating were hit up more by men, while the male profiles of cheaters were more chastised.

This pointed to the fact that some men merely want just sex, rather than a relationship, which is why the men in the study sought out these ‘taken’ women.

4. Disappointment: ‘Dating’ site AshleyMadison.com, a site that helps married people find people to cheat on their spouses with, found that their busiest days for signup were the day before Valentine’s Day (for men) and the day after for women. According to the site: ‘While February 13th – also known as Mistress Day – saw a 271 percent increase in signups, there was actually a 314 percent decrease in signups on Valentine’s Day itself. The most prolific traffic came the day after Valentine’s, as 439% more people signed up to find what’s missing in their marriage.

The huge spike in signups on the 15th was mostly driven by married women: their membership increased by a whopping 977 percent.

Ashleymadison.com CEO and founder Noel Biderman says expectations around the holiday drive membership: ‘Mistress Day is all about avoidance. People sign up to avoid the stress they know they will have to face with their spouse the following day.’ He continues, ‘the day after Valentine’s Day is one of our biggest days of the year. People are disappointed by their spouses’ lack of effort, and they feel especially undervalued when there is a societal expectation of romance. Certain days of the year act as litmus tests for many people in relationships.’

5. Avoidance: According to the same study on the controversial site, the increase of men signing up to find a mistress the day before Valentine’s day was due to the stress that they feel society puts on men to deliver on Valentine’s day. These men get mistresses to help them cope with the stress that they know they will face the very next day.

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Do you know other reasons? let me know via the commment box!!!

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