Well, a lot of us might face a scenario like this
and irrespective of how terrible we feel about ourselves, it’s completely
normal for some of these things to come up. The truth is we are created to be
sexual and it seems the more we try to resist what we feel, the worse of we
are.
If you however constantly feel the urge to cheat
more often than you know is normal, you should never consider doing it but
instead take a cue from these five tips which we hope can help you put your
cheating urge in check.
Get An Appropriate Definition Of Cheating
It’s best you and your partner decide what you think
is cheating in your own context. The truth is both you and your partner may
think of cheating in different ways and you may just be shocked at what your
partner considers as cheating.
A recent study published in the journal of
Personality and Individual Differences concluded that men tend to be more
jealous of sexual cheating while women were more jealous of emotional cheating.
As a result, you and your partner getting a clear definition of what you
consider as cheating would go a long way in curtailing cheating.
Never Be Ashamed Of Your Thoughts or Feelings
This might sound strange but the first step to
ensuring that you put your cheating thoughts in check is not to be ashamed to
admit your feelings to yourself. The truth is you may hate yourself for feeling
the temptation to cheat on your partner but knowing that it will come will help
you to deal better with it. Accept the thoughts but never act on them.
Never Fake It
The sooner you realise it takes too much energy to
cheat, the better for you. It’s better you channel that energy into making your
partner know your true feelings while appreciating them more. Simply let your
partner know the things that make you happy and contribute in whatever way you
can to make your relationship a happy one.
Convert Your Drive To Cheat Into Your Relationship
Instead of thinking that your thoughts of cheating
would make you cheat and drive you away from your partner, you can decide to
convert that thought into your relationship. The simple fact that you feel the
urge to cheat may be an indication that that the spark in your relationship
needs to be reignited.
You can reignite the spark by thinking of what
attracts you to the person you’re tempted to cheat with, which your partner is
lacking. Is it that you crave more attention and love? If that’s the case, it
may be you’re tempted to cheat simply because the person you’re tempted to
cheat with is a mirror reflection of the things you miss and crave to have
back. You may want to consider telling your partner the things you wish to have
back and this may go a long way in helping you.
Let Your Relationship Adjust
If both you and your partner stay true to
yourselves, chances are the both of you would realise what your expectations
are and adjust as necessary. A lot of the time, dishonesty regarding our
emotional or sexual needs, start because we are scared of losing our partners
and this creates a cheating problem in future. The truth however is that it’s
never too late to be honest with your partner. If you’re sure you want another
sexual partner, it’s ideal you let your partner know. They may or may not agree
to it.
If you discover that what you need does not conform
with those of your partner, then you may want to consider taking the tough
choice of quitting. No one is to blame in this situation. It may just be time
to move on to another relationship with the experience you’ve gained.
If you find yourself tempted to cheat with someone
other than your partner, relax. This doesn’t make you a bad person. Just take
your time and think of why you’re thinking the way you are and let your partner
in on it. Let them know what you’d like your relationship to have, so as not to
betray the trust they have in you.
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